Dear NPT author,

First up, sorry if you arrived here earlier and found a gaping void where a post should be. I was thinking I had until Friday to get this written, and then the mods went and got all efficient.

Second up, I’d just like to say that I’m really happy you’re my writer (whoever you are) and I will be grateful and thrilled with anything you write me. I have pretty diverse reading habits, and I’d far rather you wrote something you enjoyed and could put your heart into than broke your back trying to stick to my prompts.

( If you do want some more ideas though, read on... )

Title: It's Always Our Self that We Find in the Sea
Fandom: A Song of Ice and Fire
Author: smirnoffmule
Characters: Aeron Greyjoy, Euron Greyjoy
Rating: R
Warnings: Childhood sexual abuse between siblings.
Summary: Aeron Greyjoy goes down in a storm.
A/N: Written for alcanis_ivennil for asoiaf_exchange. Big thanks to linndechir for the last minute beta.

(It’s Always Our Self that We Find in the Sea)

Hello, new people on my flist, and slightly older people to whom I have not yet said hello! I’m really bad at introduction posts, but I’m Rob, and I like some stuff that you like. Hi! :D

Here are all my thoughts on Game of Thrones, with predictions for A Dance with Dragons thrown in.

( Spoilers for all four books )

Title: The First Casualty 9/9 - Complete.
Fandom: Enterprise
Author: smirnoffmule
Characters: Reed, Archer, Trip.
Rating: R
Warnings (for entire story): Violence, torture, depictions of terrorism, PTSD.
Summary: A humanitarian mission on a war-torn world goes badly wrong, and Malcolm has to face the consequences.
A/N: Set post season four. The title comes from Aeschylus; “In war, truth is the first casualty.” All the thanks in the world due to Volley & Vera, without whom this monster never would have survived.

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9

So. Writing slash, for straight people, is kind of like being invited into the living room of the LGBT experience. And it's one thing, as a civilised guest, to make yourself comfortable, relax, and have fun in someone else's house, but it's quite another to litter it with your own crap, stamp your muddy boots all over the carpet, and wank off all over the couch.

( meta meta meta meta meta meta meta meta meta meta meta meta meta )

Title: Falling Down (Five Flights)
Author: smirnoffmule
Fandom: The Authority.
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairing: Apollo/Midnighter.
Summary: Five scenes from Apollo and Midnighter's early life. Sometimes you don't know if you're flying or falling until you hit the ground. Written for sabrina_il for Yuletide 2009.
Notes Spoilers for Stormwatch: A Finer World. Also archived on AO3

(The light hurts his eyes)

Title: Cost Plus
Author: smirnoffmule
Fandom: X-men movieverse.
Rating: PG
Characters: Rogue, Bobby, OCs.
Summary: A Christmas shopping trip turns eventful, and no one cares about the retail guy. Set post X2.
Notes: Huge thanks to handyhunter and wizefics for their help and encouragement. Written for lilacsigil for xmmficathon 2009.

(The speakers which ought to be piping festive music out across the store are broken. )

Stolen from amand_r and other places. I don't usually do memes like this because my usual reaction on being faced with this kind of stuff from other people is to go blank from the brain down, and also, who the heck is going to remember shit I've written, but... I've been talking about vegetarian sandwiches on wrisomifu for the best part of the last hour, my head needs a change.

Aubergine goes in sandwiches now, I'm told. I'm intrigued, disturbed and aroused.

Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 500 words) from any fanfic I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

ETA: Here is a link to my fan fictions.

Title: Straw Man (The Nu Metal Remix)
Author: smirnoffmule
Fandom: Torchwood
Character(s): Suzie, Ianto, Lisa, Jack.
Rating: R
Summary: A secret shared is a secret halved. A remix of Dancing on the Camel's Back by santousha, written for remixredux09
Notes: Thanks so much to santousha - this was a great story to remix. Big thanks also to verasteine for the very helpful beta.

(Is that what they call modern art?)

Title: The Sea Change
Fandom: Torchwood
Author: smirnoffmule
Characters: Ianto, Jack, Gwen
Rating: PG
Summary: Team Torchwood shares a sunset. Also, Ianto is a dolphin.

A/N: I blame everyone at TWU for this. Also, I feel driven to inform you, this here is a drabble x 10 – exactly 1000 words. Respect plz.

(Nothing of him that doth fade, but doth suffer a sea-change, into something rich and strange...)

Title: Five Times Johnny Storm Set the Bed on Fire
Author: smirnoffmule
Fandom: Fantastic Four movieverse
Pairing: Johnny Storm/Various
Rating: PG
Summary: How Flaming is the Human Torch? Written for the lgbtfest prompt: "Johnny Storm, He doesn't think his bisexuality is anyone's business but his own - the media think differently. Sue is upset that he didn't tell her."

A/N: With thanks to valderys and lawsontl for the beta help.

(Five Times Johnny Storm Set the Bed on Fire)

Title: On a Clear Night, You Can See Forever
Author: smirnoffmule
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: PG
Summary: There's nowt as queer as folk. Or squid. Written for the lgbtfest prompt: "Torchwood, Ianto Jones/Jack Harkness, Ianto and Jack have to deal with overt homophobia on one of their dates"

A/N: Huge thanks to verasteine for the world's fastest beta (twice!) and for holding my hand while I foamed at the mouth.

(On a Clear Night, You Can See Forever)

Title: All Day Permanent Red
Author: smirnoffmule
Fandom: X-men Comicsverse
Pairing/characters: Logan/OMC
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Logan's never been one to back down from a fight, but in times of war, it's all too easy for things to just fall apart. Written for the lgbtfest prompt: "X-Men Comicsverse, Wolverine, the experience of being bisexual in one of the earlier eras of his 100+ year lifespan."

A/N: Big thanks to lilacsigil for a speedy and helpful beta. The title is from War Music by Christopher Logue.

(All Day Permanent Red)

Title: How to Dismantle an Ideological Bomb
Author: smirnoffmule
Fandom: Watchmen
Pairing: Adrian Veidt/Dan Dreiberg
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Dan likes to take apart engines, while Adrian can deconstruct ideas. They both enjoy dismantling criminals. When you’ve got this much in common, who can possibly fail to make a connection?

A/N: With thanks to azarias, and to rm, whose post about bombs that leave things in the rain and the resulting discussion gave direction to some of the ideas in this fic.

This story is set early in 1971. Adrian has tried and failed to unite the Watchmen, and the Vietnam war is still raging. Imagine Eddie Blake is out there toasting kids as Dan and Adrian toast victory.

(How to Dismantle an Ideological Bomb)

Title: Albatross
Author: smirnoffmule
Fandom: The Authority
Pairing: Apollo/Midnighter
Rating: R
Warning: Discussion of rape.
Summary: In the wake of the events of the Nativity, Apollo and Midnighter come to terms with changes.

A/N: This didn't start out as a new fic, but a rewrite of an old one. I was only intending a re-draft, but instead it turned into something of its own, borrowing only a few lines and themes from the original. Inspired because a discussion from another fandom on non-con, and fics which deal realistically with the aftermath of rape, lead me to re-read my own six year old attempt on the subject. It was called Role Reversal, and frankly, it was rubbish, so I tried again.

Unbeta'd, because it felt like an indulgence digging up old bones, but concrit is always welcome.

(Never ever try to gauge temperature when you tend to travel at such speed...)

Title: King of Kings
Author: smirnoffmule
Fandom: Watchmen
Characters/Pairings: Adrian Veidt / OMCs
Rating: NC-17 (Slash)
Summary: 'Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair'. Or, the post-coital emptiness that follows the end of the world.

A/N From the prompt “The many different ways to perceive pain” at weekly_watchmen

Big thank you to azarias for her invaluable work with the beta stick.

(Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair)